Greetings from the
lovely island of Puerto Rico! The
sun is beaming through the curtains of the sixteenth floor apartment we rented
for the week, there’s no central air-conditioning anywhere on the island so
it’s cold in one half of the apartment and the other half has fans circling the
area. The view from the balcony is
an extraordinary panoramic view of the ocean. It’s 7:57 a.m. on my fifth day here with two more to go and as
everyone else is getting ready to go have breakfast; I needed to step out for a
few to type out how I feel.
I feel like this
vacation was more of a life changing experience for myself. There are several
things that I literally had to step out of the box I lock myself in to realize
that something’s in my life need to change.
First things
first, I need to get on a diet. I have no idea how much I weight because I
basically run passed any scale I see like any human being chased by a lion. I don’t need to get on a diet so I can
get skinny but just to better my health all together. I don’t want to go to the
doctor one day and have him tell me that I’m sixty pounds overweight (Hispanic
exaggeration), with high cholesterol, pre-diabetic, etc. I want to live a healthy life; I’m too
young to have health issues. I
want to have any health issues later on in life. My goal for when I get back
home is to completely change my eating habits. Quitting smoking was on the top
of the list, which I started yesterday when I ran out of cigarettes. I’m going
to see if that could be the last pack of cigarettes I ever purchased maybe I’ll
frame the pack or something.
On a completely
different topic but still something I realized as I stepped out of my box. I
need to change my attitude and the way I speak to people. My words don’t offend most of my
friends because they know the playfulness that comes behind it but sometimes I
can be too harsh. I just feel that
most people take life too seriously and need to see it all as a giant
game. An amazing song I heard a
few years back compared earth to a balloon basically saying that we’re on a big
balloon floating in space. I think a lot of people need to see life in that
perspective too so that they don’t take things to personally and learn that not
everyone in the world is out to get them but not everyone is like myself and people
do get hurt by some of the things I say. I’m going to try it out and see if I
can actually be nice to people and look passed the idiocracy I see every second
of the day. Maybe with improving my health I can improve my
emotions/attitude. I think I need to
start acting more like my mother; I know she holds back on the things she
really wants to say just so she doesn’t offend someone or start more problems.
I need to learn how to swallow my words and just say ok with a big smile on my
face. That way people don’t call
me “that bitch.”
Finally, I need
to devote more time to my family. I live for my friend and there’s nothing
wrong with that because they know more about me than the people I live with but
I also need to maintain a healthy relationship with the people who raised me.
Sometimes I feel like they don’t know how much I really love them, which
totally sucks. I don’t want to
hurt my parents; I really try to help them most of the time they just don’t
want to listen to my ideas. My intentions are never for a malice reason I know
my words may come out harsh but it’s not to be perceived like that.
I’m going to
create this blog with the intentions of keeping up with it. Maybe the fact that
I’m paying for it will keep me motivated. I hope someone’s out there reading
this, I hope someone will correct all my grammar errors, I hope someone
understands…
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