No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

It is 11:47 p.m. literally hours after my first post and my goals and everything I wrote about (well at least the majority of it) flew out the window in a matter of minutes all it took was a phone call to drive me to the nearest gas station for a pack of cigarettes, one phone call to throw all my words of thinking positively down the drain.  A phone call from my best friend in tears, I’m not going to get into the details of the phone call because that’s a personal matter but it was severe enough to get me to smoke two cigarettes back to back making so lightheaded that I could barely stand let alone walk.  I’m now sitting on the floor on the balcony where I’m staying and all I want to do is find some sort of way to go home.  To be with my friend because she needs her friends.  I spoke of being a more polite person and now all my head is flowing with is ways to make a person suffer, suffer what they have had coming to them for years.  Suffer the way they’ve made others suffer.  Unfortunately I know everything I’m thinking is wrong but I don’t see it that way, I can’t see it that way.  Most people are too kind hearted to ever think about getting revenge or giving someone what they deserve but not me.  All it took was a two-minute phone call to make all the things I wanted to fix make a complete 360.  It’s almost midnight, which would make it Monday; Ill be home Tuesday morning. I don’t know if I’ll still have all these things flowing in my mind or if ill go back to trying to better my life. All I know is that right now I cant control what goes on inside my head. I don’t know if ill wake up tomorrow with a clear head. I don’t know why people who deserve the world end up with crap while the people who deserve to be homeless sit on a throne. Life has a funny way of working sometimes it seems that whenever things seem to be headed in the right direction life has to throw a rock in your path. Although what my friend is going through really has nothing to do with me It’s just a sign that all that I wanted this morning isn’t going to be as easy as I thought because again all it took was a two-minute phone call and all I wanted to be was “that bitch” I wish I had all the riches in the world so I can charter a jet to take me home but I cant do that all I have are my worries from miles away and my wicked mind running free with plots to ruin another person. I’m a bit emotional right now and I’m just rambling on at this point. I just want to end this post with a question. Why do the good people have to suffer while the bad guys live happily?